Blessed Relief

Finally. We made it. I’m not talking about moving here. I’m talking about the school year beginning. The moment I’ve been so looking forward to.

The last few weeks have been insanely stressful. Shit, the last YEAR has been insanely stressful. And I don’t think it really hit me just how much until this week, when I finally could sit down, take a deep breath, and have quiet, empty space.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love and adore my kids. But dear lord are they a lot to manage. Kate had started work on July 30th, so I was home with the kids. I was already in a not-so-great emotional place with lots of things going on I’ll get to, and to add on two kids to try and entertain with their own quirks and needs just compounded things. I was not exactly in the best place to parent at my best or be the best husband for my wife as she navigates her new job. It was rough.

I had worked a consulting job for about 7 months up until April which allowed us to put some extra money away as I wasn’t going to be working from mid-April until the end of June so I could focus on getting us over here. It’s rather miraculous how perfectly the timing of that gig was. I don’t know how we could have made it over here if I had to work for those last two months. The amount of effort that goes into moving overseas, especially when you need to purge a full house and a decade-worth of accumulated belongings, remove absolutely every single item from the house to get it ready to rent out, figure out how to decide on what gets to come along in 7 checked suitcases (I’m selfish and used the eighth item for my golf clubs) and 3 carry-on items (the fourth being my alto saxophone) and 4 personal items, is Herculean. Two weeks in a hotel, then we got over here.

A week and a half in, we took a “vacation” to Railay Beach. It was breathtakingly beautiful, but I can’t say I was able to relax. Kids were a handful, and other things were still weighing on my mind related to getting settled in.

Kate gets paid on the last day of each month. So we had to get through the month of July without a paycheck. Thankfully, we were able to put enough in savings to have money left over even after the month, but we definitely burnt through more than I had anticipated. Also, there were a lot of unanticipated start-up costs for the boys school we didn’t take into account, which was really stressful. Once she finally got paid, accessing the money was not exactly simple at first as it relates to getting her bank account. I’ll explain below.

Some things I’ve learned so far, at least anecdotally: Some things here are insanely easy and efficient, while other things here are overly complicated and stressful. And let’s be clear, the language barrier doesn’t help. In no particular order:

Banking - A straight up hassle initially. A representative came over to the school where Kate works to help all the new employees get their accounts set up. Then, we had to go to the branch to fill out more paperwork to get our debit cards and get access to our account online. Yes, you read that correctly. You have to go to the branch to get access to the online banking website and app. This whole process took two trips to the bank, each lasting over an hour.

(Kate has a solid theory about why there are so many steps involved in these should-be seemingly simple actions. There are a LOT of people here, and they need jobs. The economy here seems like it is set up to create inefficiencies to provide employment for a lot of people. I have no proof or evidence to support this, but it seems more than plausible.)

So, while we’re at the bank branch, Kate is able to set up her banking app on her phone. I, however, am not. Only the bank account owner can access the phone app. I suppose that since women were only able to open their own credit cards without their husband’s permission only in the last 50 years in the US, it’s a bit of vindication that my wife gets to fully control the family coffers.

Despite the inefficiencies related to opening a bank account, especially for a non-Thai individual, once you’re set up, there are some fabulous aspects to banking here. There are no ATM fees for Thai bank accounts. There are a handful of Thai banks, from what I can gather. I don’t know if they all have an agreement, or if there is legislation outlawing it, but taking cash out of an ATM is free. It is definitely a much more cash based society than the US.

Another great feature to banking here are the QR codes for payment. Stores, taxis, food and market vendors all have QR codes displayed so you can simply scan the code with your phone to automatically transfer money between bank accounts.

Unfortunately, as I am unable to access the banking app, I miss out on this great feature. So for now, I’ll just have to rely on my debit card (which needs to be verified on my wife’s phone anytime we add it to a new online vendor) or pay in cash.

So there’s good and bad with the banking.

Healthcare - We have become way to familiar with the healthcare in Thailand to fast for my liking. A few weeks ago, I found the name of a highly regarded shoulder specialist in Bangkok’s largest hospital, Bamrungrad. I called to make an appointment. They got me in the next day! I absolutely couldn’t believe it. When in the US can you EVER get into a specialist in less than two weeks unless it’s for an emergency? They gave me an appointment time, told me what time to show up, what floor to go to as a new patient.

I showed up, walked in the building, and was immediately greeted by someone at the front desk who showed me where to go. I went up to the floor for registration, took a number, and had to wait a whopping 2 minutes before my number was called. I filled out my paperwork, then was walked over to another desk to submit my insurance info. This whole process took maybe 10 minutes. Then I went up to my appointment. I was greeted at the desk by an apologetic attendant because there was one person in front of me. The horror! So I took a seat in the waiting area. No more than two minutes later I was called back to triage where they took my weight and blood pressure. Then I was walked to the exam room to be met by the surgeon and his assistant, another ortho doctor. He did a quick exam, diagnosed me with AC joint arthritis and gave me a cortisone shot. Done. Insanely efficient. The shot has helped a lot, but I’m still experiencing some issues. I may need to go back for an MRI in a few weeks if it doesn’t improve more with exercise.

Henry, my older son, has ADHD. We have been working on finding the right medication for him. We think we found a good one back in the states and needed a refill. Our apartment building is attached to another really good hospital. We were connected to the hospitals concierge on an app called Line, which is ubiquitous here. I sent a message pretty late in the evening to the concierge, and received a response first thing the following morning. They set us up with an appointment, again, the very next day, with a doctor here to go over my son’s meds. The only somewhat inefficient part of this process was needing to submit the claim myself to the insurance company as his ADHD is considered a pre-existing condition. Out insurance covers pre-existing conditions, but not all do here and the hospital won’t always do direct billing for pre-existing conditions. I submitted the claim, and we already received reimbursement.

Kate had to make an appointment herself, and had the same ease of scheduling. Same with me for another issue I was experiencing (high blood pressure, likely stress induced). All the doctors and staff have been wonderful. The cardiologist I went to is fabulous, and extremely thorough.

Kate, Henry and I all have taken advantage of the healthcare, so that, of course, leaves Miles. Oh, Miles. So…

The Monday of Kate’s second week back at work started out nicely. Miles and Henry were playing in the pool with a new friend who lives down the hall from us. A very sweet boy who’s a year older than Miles, and they seem to be getting along great. All three boys are playing in the pool and having fun. There are black marble stairs that go up to the pool. The other boy was throwing a ball that would skim along the surface of the water, and he kept throwing and it would go out of the pool. Henry and Miles would chase each other out of the pool to get the ball, and then run back up the stairs to jump back into the pool to throw the ball back to the other boy. I think you can see where this is going. Finally, Henry and Miles are out running for the ball. Henry gets it, and starts chacing Miles with the ball. Miles takes a step on the stairs. I see his foot slip and he fall forward. CRACK! Forehead cracks right on the step above him. I immediately start gathering all of our belongings, yelling at Henry to get everything I can’t grab and to make sure our friend gets out of the pool and comes with us. I didn’t have to look at Miles to know he would need stitches. But he stands up, and has what looks like a third, bloody eye above his left eye. Blood starts running down his face. So I scoop him up, quickly getting us to our apartment. I grab a papertowel to press on the wound, grab our passports, and leave Henry in the apartment.

Miles is screaming as we are walking through the halls to go to the hospital. I never imagined living directly next to a hospital would be so advantageous. As we are on the walkway connecting the apartment building to the hospital, two nurses who looked like were about to go on lunch break quickly lept into action to help us, and whisked us away to the emergency room, and walked us straight there where Miles immediately was seated on a gurney. The attending nurse cleaned up the wound. I called Kate five times to get her to pick up while she was on her lunch break. She rushed right over to the hospital. Within five minutes, they had Miles in a sterile room where Kate and I were not allowed, and stitched him up. Ten stitches in his forehead. From the time he cracked his head to the time he was stitched up, it couldn’t have been more than a half hour. I can’t speak enough about how helpful they are in the hospital.

Miles’ stitches came out two days ago, the day before school started.

So that was fun.

So school has started, and all of the major logistical items seem to have fallen into place. This week has been somewhat cathartic for me. I’m FINALLY at the place I had been anticipating for a year and a half. The husband of leisure, so long as I take care of the kids once everyone gets back from school. I can deal with that. I’m going to the gym everyday. I’m practicing my saxophone everyday. I’m starting to finally spend time trying to learn the language. I finally have time to focus more on Ambassad Collective. I’m sure this will get a bit boring and lonely after a few weeks, and I will want to get back to work in a little while. As wonderful as this life of leisure is, I still have the drive to contribute financially to my family. I’m going to a networking event in a couple weeks, so I’m hoping to meet some folks and hopefully figure some things out. But until something falls into place, I’m going to enjoy myself, and try to get healthy again, and re-immerse myself into music.

I’ve also met a few other husbands of BASIS ladies who are in the same situation as me. So I’m hoping to get to know these guys and make some friends. They all seem really nice.