Settling In

School has been underway for about a month now, which means I’m left to my own devices for the better part of a day, everyday. We’re gradually finding a routine, and tweaking it everyday.

Kate wakes up at about 6am each weekday, and gets herself ready to go. She needs to be at school at 7am everyday as she is one of the staff members that greets students as they arrive. She says goodbye to me around 6:45, which is generally my queue to start getting up. I pull myself out of bed just shy of 7:00 each day to start working on the boys. I’ll walk into Henry’s room, say good morning a few times until he wakes up and gives me a sign of life. Then I’ll go over to Miles’ room, and give him a quick snuggle to wake him up. Kate and I often refer to Miles as our emotional support animal, because he’s such a sweet and affectionate kid.

Once the boys are up, I’ll feed them a quick breakfast, and they’ll get dressed, and we’re out the door by around 7:30 each morning. I walk them to school everyday, where I wish them a good day, and I get to properly say good morning to Kate, as she always greats me with a smile. I suppose it would be kinda awkward if she scowled at me as I arrived. The only difference is on Mondays and Fridays, when Kate takes Henry to the school as he has basketball practice at 6:45am on those days. So we’re an early-to-rise family, despite our natural inclinations of sleeping in.

Once I’ve dropped off the boys and said my daily goodbye to them and Kate, I walk back to the apartment. I eat the same breakfast everyday. Two scrambled eggs, a half-cup of quick oats with a dash of maple syrup (which is available, but VERY expensive here) and a couple fresh sliced strawberries, as well as a chocolate protein shake. I’m a creature of habit. I like consistency and stasis. I adapt pretty well in most circumstances (as evidenced by our move to a foreign land on not much more than a whim), but my preference and comfort level is highest in routine.

Once I’m done with breakfast, I’ll spend time on the NYTimes Wordle, spelling bee, Mini crossword, sudoku, connections and strands games. I may watch a few YouTube news videos from a few curated creators I have been following. Then, I’ll pull my lazy ass up from the couch, and go to the gym. Monday, Wednesday and Fridays are strength training days lifting weights, and Tuesdays are cardio days, usually on the elliptical machine, but I’m going to start on the treadmill soon. I’ll usually take Thursdays off to recover from Wednesday night football, crudely referred to as “soccer” by those in the States. It’s a group of parents and teachers from the school, and we play on an astonishingly beautiful field at the school. If I haven’t mentioned it before, the BASIS campus here in Bangkok is amazing. Playing on natural grass is saving my knees, too. It’s been such a pleasure not feeling like I can’t move the next day, thanks to softer, more forgiving ground.

After the gym, I’ll come home, grab a quick snack, rest for a few minutes, then I’ll either walk to the mall for lunch, or order food for delivery, depending on if there is anything we need to stock up on.

After that, I typically practice my saxophone for about an hour, at which point school is winding down, so I’ll often walk over to meet the family, or wait for them to come home.

Henry has basketball practices on Wednesday nights, and Miles just started Taekwondo, which is Tuesday evenings. He’s also about to start up piano lessons again on Thursday eveninigs.

Once they are home, homework commences. The curriculum at BASIS is heavy on homework. I can’t say I philosophically fully agree with the amount of homework provided, but we were well aware of what was to be expected. Henry was in BASIS back in Northern VA through 4th grade, and Miles through pre-K, and Kate has been working in the BASIS system for about 8 years now. We put both boys in public school last year to give them a break from the rigor of BASIS, so they had more time to enjoy their final year in the States before we moved. BASIS expect a LOT of their students. Miles’ workload so far has been quite manageable, but 6th grade for Henry is challenging. It’s a lot. But I gotta say, I’m immensely proud of him. He has ADHD, so getting him to sit down and focus is no small task. For him and his parents. He hates showing his work for his math problems. It’s hard as he is quite a natural and doing calculations in his head, but as the work becomes more challenging for him, he’s going to find himself in a difficult place if he continues to avoid taking the slow and steady approach. But he’s doing it, and without nearly as much pushback as I remember two years ago during his most recent year at BASIS. He cares deeply about getting good grades. More so than Kate or I care. He puts a lot of pressure on himself. I’m not entirely where that comes from, as Kate and I were not exactly the most motivated students prior to college.

So Kate and the boys have long, busy days. I, on the other hand, have time. Lots and lots of time. But it doesn’t always feel like it. I’m not exactly the best self-motivator out there. I’m far from a type A. I’m content to sit on my duff all day. But I do have desires of, for lack of a better term, self improvement.

Prior to the move, as you are all well aware of from prior blog posts, things got insanely busy. There were about three straight years where I was going to the gym consistently, and also playing football each week (I live in Thailand now, and therefore will call the sport by its proper name. If you don’t like it, tough noogies.) I got in the best shape of my life since high school. I mean, I was still a LONG way off from where I was in high school aerobically, but I was the strongest I had ever been in my life. I was bench pressing above my body weight. It was wonderful. But work got insanely busy, then I switched jobs, and it was busier than I anticipated, then when I stopped working to prepare for the move, there was not time to do much other than prepare.

I’m so happy to be back in the gym and playing football again. It feels so good to feel my body get stronger and better again. I had lost so much of the gains I had made. I put all the weight back on. I lost my muscle tone. My blood pressure and cholesterol spiked. It was so frustrating. But Here I am. Strength is coming back rapidly. I’m doing aerobic work, which I didn’t do during that three year stint, and I can already see changes in my appearance.

Let me clarify, though. I hate the gym. I don’t like the act of lifting weights or using an elliptical machine, or running in place on a treadmill. It hurts. It’s uncomfortable. But the gains and benefits from it are undeniable, and there is something very gratifying about getting stronger and adding more plates to the bench press barbell. I always feel good after I work out. I know it’s done and I can rest for the day.

I’m also happy to be practicing saxophone consistently again. I love the instrument so much. I love the feeling of putting air through it and hearing the sound. My practice routine is shit. I should probably get with a teacher again to help me develop a decent practice routine and work on stuff I have neglected my whole life. I have no doubt I could have been up there with a lot of the best players out there if I had done the work. It’s really the major factor that separates the best musicians out there from just the average shlubs like myself. This goes back to the whole thing of not being a self-motivator. My friends that are really successful are usually the ones that treat the music like food. They need it to survive.

I’m on the fence, though, about if I wish I had that drive. If I did, I’m sure my life would have been a lot different. But I don’t think that’s a life I would have wanted. Certainly not at this point. I love my family so much. I can’t conceive of an existence without them. A full-fledged music career would have meant not having a family in this same context.

So I have a nice little routine going on now. But it isn’t enough. There are so many things I need to start picking up again. I’ve done a little networking already with some fellow ex-pats. I’ve done some brainstorming about some business opportunities which sound promising, but require that type-A mentality to really get the ball rolling. When I’m pushed, I can flex that muscle. So I think I can put it together as needed. I want to spend more time looking at Ambassad Collective, the company I am a partner in with my friend Lauren. I want to take my nice camera out of the bag and start going around the city and taking pictures. And most importantly, I really need to start learning the language here.

All of these things will start happening. I have no doubt about that. It just takes me a little more time to get my routine down and I get to a good place of comfort. Then I can start branching out and spend energy on other things.